Where have I been?
Where have I been? I guess the question really is, where haven't I been? It has been a month, a very amazing, unbelievable month. I have seen more than I have dreamed. I have dreamed more than I have seen. But most of all, I have seen who I am. I have been on a journey, and now that I am back in familar walls it is confusing as to why I am here. Whose things these are? Seems like a whole lifetime has just gone by and now all of a sudden I am back where I started from.
My first day back and I have gone and reclaimed my work status by picking up my boxes and boxes of mail that I got forwared to the office, I got a brand new cell phone because my old one died on the trip and was "too old to repair" (apparently 3 years in Japan cell phone terms is primeval). I have caught up with a good friend, and now I am back amongst my clutter, not yet ready to unpack.
Life. My life for a month in a suitcase on my floor. It was hard not to put on the same t-shirts I had been wearing for the past 31 days. I feel I should pack up my house now, now that I am no longer attached to these things. Not everything feels necessary.
Most of all I wonder why God thought it was necessary for me to travel around the world in order to find clarity in my own heart.
My best friend once told me that my power animal was fish. Not just a fish, but fish. Well now I can attest to her talents. For the sign I was given was fish. I was told to go to the ocean and to bathe, to heal, to open my path. And I did. Freshly pierced (my belly button is now sporting titanium), and with a scared heart. I ducked under into icy blue and I came out to warm sunlight. I went back in, hand in hand with love. 3 times under, 3 times thanks, and after 3 times, opening my eyes to a circle of fish, surrounding, swimming, being. I was told to go to the ocean to wash off the black magic, to heal all the hurt I was carrying around inside, and after I came out of the ocean, I felt whole. I felt in love. I felt beautiful. And so my blessings go out to all of you who I love. Know that I miss you and will see you soon. To my love, know that I am thinking about you, about the ocean, about bathing, about playing, about laughing, and most of all about being and how amazing being in love with you is. You have taught me so much about myself, about being myself in the world, about love, and I miss you dearly.
To my family, I lit a candle for you and for your health in Notre Dame. And Geoff, I know after Sunday your heart is really going to hurt, but you have now experienced something that some people wait their whole lives and never get a chance too. The days, the hours, and the months will pass, and soon you will be reunited again, but until then I hope you give thanks for the time you were given, and will be given. I hope you give thanks for the love you got to feel. And I hope that both you and Ev. will be back together in bliss in no time, she is really an amazing woman. I couldn't think of anyone better for you to fall for.
So now it is time for me to address the piles and piles of things on my floor, and finally put away the dishes that have been drying on my counter for a month.
I will post pictures soon. I just uploaded them, all 1135 of them, and so I have my work cut out for me.
All my love...
Where have I been? I guess the question really is, where haven't I been? It has been a month, a very amazing, unbelievable month. I have seen more than I have dreamed. I have dreamed more than I have seen. But most of all, I have seen who I am. I have been on a journey, and now that I am back in familar walls it is confusing as to why I am here. Whose things these are? Seems like a whole lifetime has just gone by and now all of a sudden I am back where I started from.
My first day back and I have gone and reclaimed my work status by picking up my boxes and boxes of mail that I got forwared to the office, I got a brand new cell phone because my old one died on the trip and was "too old to repair" (apparently 3 years in Japan cell phone terms is primeval). I have caught up with a good friend, and now I am back amongst my clutter, not yet ready to unpack.
Life. My life for a month in a suitcase on my floor. It was hard not to put on the same t-shirts I had been wearing for the past 31 days. I feel I should pack up my house now, now that I am no longer attached to these things. Not everything feels necessary.
Most of all I wonder why God thought it was necessary for me to travel around the world in order to find clarity in my own heart.
My best friend once told me that my power animal was fish. Not just a fish, but fish. Well now I can attest to her talents. For the sign I was given was fish. I was told to go to the ocean and to bathe, to heal, to open my path. And I did. Freshly pierced (my belly button is now sporting titanium), and with a scared heart. I ducked under into icy blue and I came out to warm sunlight. I went back in, hand in hand with love. 3 times under, 3 times thanks, and after 3 times, opening my eyes to a circle of fish, surrounding, swimming, being. I was told to go to the ocean to wash off the black magic, to heal all the hurt I was carrying around inside, and after I came out of the ocean, I felt whole. I felt in love. I felt beautiful. And so my blessings go out to all of you who I love. Know that I miss you and will see you soon. To my love, know that I am thinking about you, about the ocean, about bathing, about playing, about laughing, and most of all about being and how amazing being in love with you is. You have taught me so much about myself, about being myself in the world, about love, and I miss you dearly.
To my family, I lit a candle for you and for your health in Notre Dame. And Geoff, I know after Sunday your heart is really going to hurt, but you have now experienced something that some people wait their whole lives and never get a chance too. The days, the hours, and the months will pass, and soon you will be reunited again, but until then I hope you give thanks for the time you were given, and will be given. I hope you give thanks for the love you got to feel. And I hope that both you and Ev. will be back together in bliss in no time, she is really an amazing woman. I couldn't think of anyone better for you to fall for.
So now it is time for me to address the piles and piles of things on my floor, and finally put away the dishes that have been drying on my counter for a month.
I will post pictures soon. I just uploaded them, all 1135 of them, and so I have my work cut out for me.
All my love...
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